How to mitigate the toll on our mental health
There are so many different levels of trauma response being enacted right now. Yes, this is a global trauma event. In fact, it is a series of trauma events making up the “big event”.
There’s a double domino effect taking place. Increasing and stricter measures being put in place by governments to “flatten the curve”, and the global scale domino effect of one country after another imposing these measures.
The emotional toll that this is taking cannot be underestimated. Trauma is a full body experience. The world is in fight or flight mode, our collective pulses racing, adrenaline flooding and poised for action. However, the only action we can take is effectively inaction. This classically results in trauma responses.
- Panic buying
- Lashing out on social media
- ANXIETY (hugely amplified because it’s a collective experience, and anxiety is infectious)
- Insomnia
- Nightmares
- Headaches
- Racing thoughts
- Inability to concentrate … the list goes on
I cannot stress enough the importance of recognising what we are going through right now and finding ways to mitigate the effects. Yes, we are worried about our health, our loved ones, our businesses, our finances, schooling our children. The unknown drives anxiety. Our brains make up stories about what the outcomes will look like.
The truth is, none of us knows. There is no certainly, there is no way of knowing how each of our individual situations will be impacted by this.
For our own well being, but even more importantly, for the well being of our children, we need to process what’s happening. We have a choice in how we will come out of the other end of this, emotionally. While there are no guarantees around the health and the financial consequences of COVID-19, I can guarantee that if we, as individuals, do not take the time to understand and process the resulting trauma, this will have far reaching consequences on our mental health and the mental health of our children.
While our bodies are responding to this threat with a fight or flight response, our minds respond with intense emotions including anger and fear. In normal circumstances, once the threat has passed, our bodies and minds slowly relax and return to normal function. When the trauma is ongoing, and things do not return to normal fairly quickly, we remain hyper alert and on edge, which can lead us to feel overwhelmed. This can result in dysfunction resulting in Complex Trauma.
We know that traumatic events can create complex changes to both the psychological as well as the physiological experience. This, in turn, may lead to Complex Post Traumatic Stress. (Herman, 2015)
The trauma we’re experiencing as a result of COVID-19 can be exacerbated by the necessity of social distancing and in some cases, isolation.
So how do we avoid the traumatic fallout of COVID-19?
Here are some things for you to consider.
Acceptance and Reaching Out
Well, the first step, as with most things, is acceptance of the situation. Easier said than done, I know.
“Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.” ~ Kahlil Gibran
Now, more than ever, it is important to talk about how you are feeling. I know that this may not be possible in person, but reach out via technology, either to a trusted friend or family member or in an online support group.
One of the most powerful ways I know of processing trauma is through writing. It’s something I’ve done from an extremely young age. Writing has been my saviour in my adult years as I processed CSA and various other deeply traumatic experiences. It is the reason I facilitate writing workshops for women who have experienced trauma. So if there is some reason why you are not able to express your feelings to another person, I encourage you to write your feelings. Begin a journal during this time. Don’t think about what you are writing, just sit down once a day and put whatever thoughts you have down on paper. Articulating your experiences impacts both your body and your mind by changing where and how an experience is stored in your brain.
If you have children, encourage them to speak about how they are feeling. Acknowledge their feelings. Have them write a story about how they are feeling, or draw a picture. This is a healthy way of processing what they are going through.
Structure
Try to keep to some kind of structure, bed times, waking up times, meal times. BUT, don’t be too rigid.
There is so much stress around home schooling and making sure children stay up to date with their learning. I disagree with this somewhat. There are so many ways for children to learn. Yes, if your child is in high school and coming up for exams, they need to keep up their studies and make sure that they prepare. But parents are not teachers, and your children need parenting more than anything right now. It needs to be apparent to them that you, as the parent figure, are primarily there to nurture, to support and to provide unconditional love and support. If you are too stressed out about the schooling aspect of being in quarantine, this WILL negatively affect your child.
Yes, routine is important, have learning time, but remember, this is a stressful enough situation without trying to do a perfect job. Don’t try to duplicate the school day. Let things slide a little. Play games, have fun. Make sure that your children’s memories of this time are not all about your stress about school work and insisting that they complete worksheets. Schooling will catch up, the whole world is in the same situation. It’s a time to slow down and find a different rhythm.
If you don’t have children, the same applies. Have time set aside to work, if you are fortunate enough to be working from home. Make a list of all the things you always said you didn’t have time to do. Do them. Meditation is a great thing to fit into your daily structure.
Self Care
How many of us neglect self care in the course of our everyday lives?
Now, more than ever before, you have the time…
Nurture your body. Turn up the music and dance! Activity releases endorphins which make us feel better.
Clean out those cupboards, rearrange the furniture, deep clean your home, do some gardening.
Remember, your mind and your body work together. The more active you are, the less anxious you’ll feel. Activity will help with your sleep patterns too.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a term that has been bandied about, sometimes arbitrarily, over the last number of years, but what is it really?
Mindfulness has grown out of Eastern practices of meditation. It is a way of slowing down the body and the mind. It brings your awareness into the here and now and is a powerful way of alleviating the stress brought about by worrying about the past and the future.
The here and now is really all we have. This moment. The past is over, the future is unknown. What we do in this moment is our reality.
Mindfulness requires being fully present in the moment. Engaging all our senses in experiencing where we are and what we’re currently doing.
It takes practice, and it’s not easy in the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives when we are rushing to and fro. The situation we find ourselves in now, is a perfect opportunity to practice mindfulness and make it an integral part of our lives.
You can do so by slowing down (we have no choice right now) and noticing where we are and what is around us.
Close your eyes. Engage your senses. Notice the sounds. Notice the smells. Pay attention to the tactile experience… what do you feel, what is the temperature?
When you open your eyes, what do you see, notice the details of your surroundings.
This is not going to be an easy time, but for your own sake’s and for the sake of your children if you have them, let’s take a breath. Pause. Accept what is. We have no choices right now beyond our actions and reactions to the situation.
Let’s make sure that the stories we tell in the future are not about the fear, the anxiety and the stress, but about the things we learned, about ourselves, and about others. Let those stories reflect the resilience of the human spirit and how we rallied together in the face of an uncertain future and in the midst of our collective trauma and discovered ways of connection that transcended the physical.
(First published on 24th March 2020 – Medium)
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